All I have to say is…why?

You know, sometimes being curious can be an adventure.  Other times?  Not so much.

Last night, I walked into the living room to find Keiko pouncing around on the rug like a cat, putting something in his mouth, throwing it and then chasing after it once again.  He does this with tennis balls and other toys.  But last night, it looked to me that he was simply being a little insane and chasing after nothing in general, probably a burst of air or something.  Because he’s done that before, too.

Turns out, as I turned to walk away, a small black ball landed near my feet and he was once again pouncing on it.  Well, not so much on it, but next to it.  Then carefully picking it up again and continuing to play with it.

And okay, here goes.  I cannot believe I am about to type this.  Just thinking about it is forcing me to relive the entire experience, and that is one that I would gladly go another hundred years without reliving.  It was THAT bad.  Thinking it was  just something simple, I picked up the black ball, which then decided to do away with it’s protective ball shape and turn once again into a spider.

I picked up a spider.  With my bare hands.  And what happened next wasn’t my brightest moment, I’ll say that much.  To use the phrase, ‘I screamed like a girl’, is an understatement.  Because I didn’t, I threw that thing and was quivering on the couch probably within two seconds of actually picking it up.  And of course, Keiko is thinking we’re playing, so he chases it, picks it up and brings it back to me.  Why thank you, Keiko.  How generous of you!

Anyway, the story doesn’t end there.  I worked up the courage to pick it up with a tissue and put it in a glass.  Only then did I notice how friggin huge the thing was.  I mean, I’m talking the size of a nickel, maybe bigger.  And just for the record, I still can’t believe I am still talking about his, because if you asked me at this moment, I’d tell you that millions of spiders were burrowing underneath my skin, ready to eat me from the inside out for killing their cousin.  So I carried the glass into the office and looked up the spider on the internet.

The internet is no longer my friend.  Not when it can produce such disturbing images.  Images, by the way, that kept me up half the night.  I never did find out what type of spider it was because the thing decided to start crawling around in the glass and I couldn’t stand being within inches of it anymore.  So I put it on a tissue and hit it with my shoe.  Because, hello, I am not squeezing that thing between my fingers.  And then I even thought about throwing the glass away.

After literally half an hour of researching spiders (who EVER thought I’d say that in my lifetime?), I stumbled across a picture of a black widow and it did me in.  But not before etching nightmares into my brain that will probably stay there for eternity.

I think I may have a slight problem.  And I may have to wear gloves for the rest of my life.


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. deb
    Jul 22, 2009 @ 14:48:46

    So sorry, but I am LOL!


  2. caprilis
    Jul 22, 2009 @ 16:02:49

    Me too!!! Not to worry… there are no poisonous spiders that big in MI!


  3. emily
    Jul 22, 2009 @ 16:07:56

    Ok, while I was reading up to the climax of that delightful story, I was thinking maybe you were talking about a mouse. When you said spider, I almost started screaming from my chair. I don’t think I could have handled that situation any better than you did. I feel for you, friend. And when you say it was the size of a nickel, do you mean the whole thing, or just the body? Nevermind. Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.


  4. Meg
    Jul 23, 2009 @ 09:34:38

    I was hoping for a mouse. A mouse would’ve been a much nicer treat. I love little micies…but HOLY CRAP YOU HELD A SPIDER WITH YOUR BARE HANDS. Please excuse me while I vomit.


  5. caprik
    Jul 24, 2009 @ 06:17:50

    DITTO what Emily said!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spiders, me no likey!


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